4 Steps to Writing Perfect Wedding Vows – The Ultimate Wedding Vow Guide

Our good friend Julie Williams, “The Wizard of Words,” is giving us her best tips to make your wedding vows personal and special for the two of you. We are excited to be able to share her great ideas with all of our brides!

The ultimate wedding vow guide

Bride going through her vows

As a couple you have chosen to compose your own, unique wedding vows – possibly the most significant words you will ever share with another person.  This can be an extremely daunting and often terrifying task.  Where do you begin?

Step 1:

One of the first decisions to make is if you are going to recite the same vows or write them separately.   If you are going to do this solo it is always helpful to have a general format for each person to follow so the vows are similar in nature.    Together you will need to determine the overall tone you want to convey.  Will you incorporate a touch of humor?  Will the vows be primarily based on your religious beliefs?  How romantic do you want to be?  Are there specific words or phrases you wish to both include?

Keep in mind these are your wedding vows and will be recited in front of all of your guests so keep everything appropriate.  You do not want to take a chance on offending someone with a humorous story which might not appeal to the entire crowd.  This sort of thing is better saved for a toast at the reception.  Or the bachelor party!


Step 2:

As a jumping point you might want to consider several questions.  When did you know you were in love with this person?  How does your future spouse make your life better?  What are the most redeeming qualities in your partner?  What do you hope to bring to this union?

You are vowing your everlasting love for another person, so many couples like to declare this in the form of a promise.  Examples can range from ‘I promise to treasure and care for you every day of your life” to “I promise to always walk the dog and occasionally let you rule the remote”


Step 3:

A basic rule when writing your vows is to start big and edit, edit, edit.  Vows are traditionally about one minute in length.  Ordinarily one minute is not a very long amount of time, but it may seem like an eternity on your Wedding Day.  Here again, if the vows become too long perhaps there are bits which can be added to an event later in the day.

Long before your wedding day always ask your Officiant if you will need vow approval.  Some religions are very strict about the contents of a ceremony and you don’t want to be caught off guard at the last moment.


Step 4:

Once you have finalized your vows, practice them aloud over and over again.  Chances are you will be nervous on your Wedding Day so you want to know them backwards and forwards.  While most couples prefer to have the vows completely memorized it is suggested you have them printed on a beautiful, small piece of paper just in case you need a reminder.

The primary goal is to truly be yourself.  You want the words to come directly from your heart with your natural cadence and tone.   Afterall, these are the words which will proclaim your love and devotion for eternity.


Julie Williams

-Wizard of Words



Photography: Landon Sveinson Photography

Styling: Details Special Events

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