Well, it’s been about three weeks since my last Bridezilla entry, so I guess I’m about due to tell you about my latest wedding related freak out.
As many of you know, my fiancé and I are in the midst of planning our destination wedding set to take place in Mexico this fall. And as you can imagine, we’ve already hit a few snags along the way. Last time, I ranted about dealing with the overall stress of planning a wedding, but today, I have a more specific issue to address that perhaps some of you can relate to…
My bridesmaid isn’t coming to my wedding!
Oh, yes. It’s likely what all of us thought about and tried to avoid while carefully choosing our bridesmaids. They’re our sisters, our closest friends, our confidantes. They’re the ones we trust the most. So how could this happen?
I’ve heard the horror stories of bridesmaids dropping out or, even worse, just not showing up, but I never thought it could happen to me.
Well, as it turns out, my M.I.A. Bridesmaid just couldn’t afford it. And because I’m having a destination wedding, my girls not only have to fork over cash for their dresses, they also have to pay for the trip itself, and that kind of cash is sometimes not always easy to scrounge up. Fair enough.
So what do you do when something like this happens? Get Angry? Freak out? You could, but really, what good will that do besides make you even more upset and make her feel guilty?
No matter what the circumstances, your first instinct will be to get angry, and that’s OK. Allow yourself a few moments to fume (alone). Then move on.
I’ll admit it, I was angry. But then I thought about it and assured myself that she wasn’t trying to hurt me and she was probably just as upset about it as I was.
As cheesy as it sounds, I had to force myself to look at the big picture. Is this really important? No, not really. Is this going to ruin my wedding? No, it won’t.
Needless to say, there’s no hard feelings between us, we’ve moved passed it, and if by some miracle she is able to come after all, great! And over the next few months I’m going to try to come up with ways to include her in some of the pre-wedding celebrations so she still feels like part of my special day.
So, I guess the thing to take away from situations like this is just to breathe, think rationally and work through it…because you will get through it. I didn’t spend a lot of my time and energy trying to convince my M.I.A. Bridesmaid to reconsider or guilt her into changing her mind. Instead, I focused on possible alternatives.
Remember: as hard as it may seem, never place blame and don’t freak out. Come up with simple, quick and attainable solutions that has everyone’s best interests in mind.
It worked out for me. Not only have I maintain a strong relationship with the M.I.A. Bridesmaid, but I was also able to find a wonderful bridesmaid substitution who is so excited to be part of my bridal party — a win-win!